Sometimes you meet people who you don’t gel with, or who are very different people to you. Its not a judgement, but we just can’t be close with everyone on the planet. For me two of those people are the ones who brought me into this world. I seem to have inherited and learned qualities from them that clash with the people they resided in first – things like a strong sense of my own moral values, stubbornness, introversion, even intuition. In two individuals, these traits can produce conflict – imagine two stubborn individuals whose intuition has brought each of them to vastly different conclusions on a topic, and you’re imagining my mother and I. Imagine two people whose strong intellect and morals put them at opposite sides of some fundamental issues and you have my father and I. I’ve held on to vast amounts of anger, resentment and frustration at each of them, but those things no longer serve me. While I currently feel no need to have my parents in my life, there are many things I have from them which have made me better, which I’d like to share with you today.
To my parents:
Thankyou for being individuals. The value of owning your own identity is immense, something I am becoming more resolute in. I thank my father for showing me the value of a extended family – the joys of my childhood in regional Tasmania were in part due to the large family I had connections with, and even this introvert was always able to find someone wanting to do the same thing as me, even if that was sitting in the garden with a book. My father’s family is also responsible for my thick dark hair, a favourite feature of mine. I thank my mother for showing me that letting something end isn’t always an example of failure, and that there is strength in that choice – it fuelled me well when choosing my own mental health over a continued relationship. I also thank her for teaching me that anger is not an appropriate tool for self-actualisation – the bridges you burn can not always be rebuilt. Compassion serves us in a much more fulfilling way without hurting yourself or those you care about most. I thank both of you for leaving me with emotional scarring – because without our difficulties I may have fallen into a path of destructive romantic relationships, instead of waiting and picking well, first time. Most of all, in many ways, I thankyou both for making mistakes, so that I could learn from them and not have to learn the lessons through my own miss-steps.
From a lady who is her own woman.