Yesterday I had a bit of a brain melt down. It was Monday, I wasn’t looking forward to the working week, and I had a few communication hiccups at work. My ego/mean girl went into overload – “what was she thinking, I have no idea what she wants me to do with this?”, “I’m never going to get this done in time”, “why is all this happening right now?”. I instantly got irritated and stressed.
Source. Actually, I think waking up to find out you’ve been in cryogenic sleep for a millennium would be easier for me to cope with… But I’m all weird and INTJ like that.
What was happening inside my head was my overly analytical brain went into overload when things weren’t presented in the way it likes to process, and a major freakout happened. Once I got out of work and was walking back to the car, with a bit of perspective I realised this lesson: that I don’t have to react when things are outside my control. In fact, its the best time to get a bit reflective, because it is outside my control. To take a step back, think, and remember how I react and feel is in my control and that and only that will frame my mood and day, not what other people say and do.
It probably seems like a case of the obvious, but for me this is a major step. I encounter this response in my head both when the way other people act isn’t in line with what I’d expect or think is reasonable, and also when my healing or medical treatment doesn’t go to plan (hello, cranky face in the ER!). Recognising that it is in my control as to how I react, then letting it go is huge. And, I’m pretty sure my new exercise and food choices are giving me a helping hand in this one. Whole30 & Barre – 1, SAD – 0. But its just a start, actually preventing the freakout in my brain is the next step.
I’ll probably need this lesson thrown at me a few more times to really get it, and I think I only actually understood what Tara was saying when writing all this out and reflecting on what happened yesterday. So thankyou for that one universe!